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Navigating an Ivy League as a mom


Ever dreamt on air, passing through the clouds? Every time that I fly, only a thousand things flash through my mind. This time around, as I’m flying, my mind wanders around a whole lot of life that I had at Brown University, during my masters. So I thought why not just capture the flashback 😊

On August 25th 2016, we had an initial orientation that lasted for 2-3 days. It was a proud moment, one I have been dreaming for from my childhood, to get into an Ivy school. The whole environment at Sayles Hall at Brown was very welcoming and booming with lots of new faces, on which you could sense a bit apprehensiveness and enthusiasm about what is to come forth. I met with a bunch of diverse students from different parts of the world, who are about to start their journey at Brown. We had an initial ice breaker session, post which, a slight brunch and we were instructed to follow to Salomon’s Hall.  One of the student representative played us an awesome song, nicknamed as Brown fight song – “Drink it down to Brown, Brown” I was just savoring the moment at Brown. The auditorium was decorated with an aura of Brown logo, a rising sun which symbolically screamed what was about to be the beginning of wonderful journey.
If I, being a MS student at Brown felt so rejuvenated and energized, you should imagine the bright high school kids who are just entering Brown as a freshman. I knew at this moment, that one day I’m going to regret for not having a chance in my life for doing my undergrad at such an engaging and student organized school. I do regret now.

What was to follow next, was two tough yet fascinating years at Brown, which I will never exchange for anything else in my life. Being an international student wasn’t easy, it was initially all about trying to fit in. One thing I would like to advise my fellow readers is people appreciate being honest and open, and hence “do not try to fit in each and everything, you are born to stand out”. Unfortunately, it took me a few months to realize this. The major piece or the sole purpose, is of course academic rigor Brown students had to undergo. Borrowed and overheard from some intelligent mind of seniors at Brown, “I was baked for four years at Brown, now I’m truly a Brownie” 😊 I had to second this completely.

Everyone knows Providence as a little college town, however I always thought that life at Downtown Providence, centered around Brown. It was the students running mid classes to different buildings through the College Hill and Federal Hill, trying to get a mini workout or a short swim at the Nelson Fitness Center or to get a short 20 minute nap at their dorms or private houses off campus to overcome for the lost sleep the previous night. Courses are rigorous during the school semesters, however, during recess periods it felt like Providence is a lonely place with nothing to do. Student at Brown and RISD brought life to Providence.

The CIT, which is the CS building at Brown was where I spent most of my time at Brown. Brown went out of their way and it was totally amazing to have our own office space, which are usually reserved for PhDs, even as MS students. On a side note, Brown must satisfy their “Paying Customers”, which they did, at least for me. :D 

Every student that I met at Brown were amazing, you learn to be one among them and stay humble. There is no scarcity for the talent at Brown. I’m so devoted to my Alma mater, as I have made some truly great friends here and have had amazing moments. Of all the things to do, some are MUST DOs – playing a little Frisbee on a summer morning on the main lawns, watch an Ivy League Game at the Nelson between Brown and other Ivies(trust me on this, Go Brunos😊 Go Brown Bears 😊), book a conf room at SciLi (Sciences Library) for a group study, bike through the bike lanes of Providence during Fall, group chat with your friends on main lawn or near Granoff Arts Center (Multimedia building), fall weekend student cultural, joining a research group, weekend getaways to Lincoln Woods, participate in a hackathon, Halloween’s student’s party in GCB(Grad Center Bar), student party on Friday’s, Jack O Lantern’s Halloween’s Spectacular in Roger William's Park zoo in Providence, a tour of RISD musuem, collaborating on a problem during TA hours, being a teaching assistant to a course that you like, Sunday morning masses at Manning Chapel, grabbing a bite at Andrew’s, break your mind over solving a problem overnight and losing sleep. I pretty much can vouch that though the last one might eventually happen to every student at Brown, be it for an assignment or a project or a research, probably multiple times.

I worked as a part time Front Desk Specialist at the Nelson Fitness Center. I realized how to deal with working in Front Desk, being able to multi task, attend a phone call, handle questions from people asking directions while being vigilant of people entering the fitness center, above all maintain courteous relationship and earn respect from my fellow friends and community. It was initially tough, after all, I’m a true Brownie 😊, being a person of color, especially being a “person of color”, though it was tough, I groomed myself into the job, really well and had amazing moments.  ‘Person of color’ -  This was a new term I was introduced in the US, especially now that I’m a true Brownie :D  This is where I met some of the most interesting people in my life, that I keep in touch with. They were from diverse range group of 16 to 76, some professors, little kids etc. The Hackathon that I attended in MIT Media Lab was a truly life changing experience as a techie. It’s MIT 😊

Did I tell you, that I had to stay away from my family for almost full couple years, while doing all this studying and life- experiencing? That was the toughest part. Everyone succumbs to pressure at some point – be it academic, stress, peer pressure, sick family member leading to lack of concentration, staying away from my then 3 year old kid, missing my spouse - call it what not. I did too. At any point, that I had a total meltdown or totally lost while solving an assignment/research/project, I took a few hours away from it. To tell you the truth, it totally helped me in getting on track, rather than wasting time being unproductive. Everyone has her or his own ways of handling it. My escapism is to hit Nelson Fitness Center for an immediate workout, no matter what time of the day it was. And then a quick hot shower will most likely help put things back in perspective and I was able to find a way out of the problem.

There was a time, when I had a tough oral presentation 1:1 with an amazing professor, that happened to last 4 hours through mid-night, when my son and husband was visiting me for couple weeks. Being able to cope with things like this, I realized that I’m stronger than I think I’m.
When it was time to graduate, suddenly I felt I will be missing a lot of Brown. So I kept doing stuff that I really loved at Brown in my last few weeks at Brown. Let me tell you this. You can never graduate without attending the Brown Campus Dance, which is an amazing reunion of Brown alums, that happens a few days before the current set of students graduate on Commencement Day. On the day of Commencement, students were buzzing with joy in their academic regalia, so were the proud parents who came to watch their wards graduate. Such a proud day and the one I will never forget and will cherish for years to come. I was officially an Ivy Graduate. The band played through commencement, a unique experience to an east coast school. 😊 Well, suddenly my name was announced, and I was heading to the stage to receive my diploma. It was surreal. Guess what went through my mind! Though this is not happening soon, I was dreaming about clapping my hands with a tearful eye, watching my son graduate.

What’s not to forget is at the end of day, we learn more from our friends and our life experiences than from our courses. There is more to Brown than the buildings 😊 I cherished all my life experiences at Brown and oftentimes think through them to make myself and feel nostalgic. The most astonishing fact is that every student at Brown was so thoroughly passionate about something that meant dearly to them. I wonder if I weren’t raised by Indian Parents, would I even be doing CS? I discovered some of my true passions that are not related to CS or tech, through meeting some awesome students and professors. One day, I hope I will try to make that passion come to life.


~~~More to come ~~~ Happy reading..! :)

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